I sent thousands to someone I "loved"—here's why

I had been single for years and told myself I was too savvy for fairy tales. When we matched online he was kind and attentive, and I wanted to believe someone could care about my ordinary days.

He was overseas for work. The first money ask was small—a bill he could not access from abroad—and his gratitude felt enormous. Wires and transfers stacked while I told myself partners help each other.

Emergencies multiplied: sick relatives, seized accounts, opportunities that would "set us up." I moved thousands from savings and cards while every plan to video deeply or meet kept slipping.

Love and shame braided together—I had said "I love you" to a screen and did not want to admit the voice might be a shift worker with a script.

When I cut off funds until we met in person, he disappeared overnight. Reverse-searching his photos linked to warnings from other victims using the same face. That search results page was the obituary for the relationship.

I lost money and years of hope. Telling no one made the wound fester; reporting and support groups shrank the shame.

If someone I have never met keeps asking for money, it is not love—it is extraction. I wish I had said no to the first transfer.

• Never send money to someone you have not met in person.
• Verify photos; beware meetings that stay permanently "soon."
• Report to the FTC—you are not alone.

For more help, see our Report a scam page and Spot and avoid scams guide.